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Final Essay E-268
The requirement is to write a personal essay. The piece must be between 6 and 18 pages long, and since the class is creative non-fiction, it must be, well, non-fiction. It must, in other words, be mostly true. I've decided to write an essay about a subject that for one reason or another makes people uncomfortable. Religion? Sex? Hemorrhoids? Nope, I'm writing about how I love my wife. And yes, it's non-fiction.
What is it about a spouse proclaiming their affection and love for their mate in public that makes people wince? Is it something to do with propriety? A throwback to our Puritan roots, those hoary values that have caused us no end of grief, anxiety and guilt in this culture? Does this fall under the rubric of acronym--TMI (Too Much Information), PDA (Public Displays of Affection), GAR (Get A Room)? Are we as a society this emotionally constipated that we can't even talk about our love for the person we sleep with (almost) every night? If true, this is sad beyond measure.
If it is, indeed, true it seemed to me a reasonable topic for an essay in a creative nonfiction writing class. I've already started the piece. In deference to social sensibilities I've placed the disclaimers first, not wishing to turn readers away within the first paragraph. The essay is not about our cutesy rituals, the icky-poo daily tics and touchy-feelies of some brand new, and some not so brand new marriages. It is not about our sex lives, relax. It's not about how we fixed our busted, clunky, run-of-the-mill poor excuse for a matrimonial match, a how-to manual for your own inert marriage. It isn't about how we overcome great obstacles, move mountains to be together, proclaim our undying love and affection from the top of the Empire State Building either. None of that. The essay is simply about how my wife and I came to a very early understanding that our marriage is truly sacred to us, completely removed from all the conventional, too often commercial aspects of marriage. We have a bond that fulfills our every need, not using all the devices noted above--the shouts from atop tall buildings in large cities etc.--but almost despite all that outward foo-farah. We even have a designation for what we believe is the one, vital, indispensable ingredient to a life together as mates: we are simply best friends.
The word essay derives from the French essai, to try, to make an attempt. My essay on spousal love is not definitive; it is an attempt to tell our story of how marriage works for us. Everyone needs their own essay.
